Literary Agent Orson: Atlas Shrugged

“Welcome to Ground, can I take your order?” the server monotoned and ceased texting for the moment.

“It’s ‘may I take your order,’ did they teach you nothing in public school?”

“Whatever,” the teen rolled his eyes. Orson placed his order, and the kid went back to texting.

The inarticulate youth of today, Orson thought as he walked to the big corner table.

“Really, really, REALLY Carson, you can’t be serious!” he heard Lisa say. Several heads turned to look her way. “That is the stupidest, most amateurish bunch of tripe ever written. The inhumanity; the naked injustice; the petty meanness and unfairness. I can’t believe you.”

“Kids,” Orson said as he sat.

“Let’s change the subject,” Jeremy suggested. “I’m having a gargantuan case of writer’s block. I don’t think this’ll help.”

“Great idea,” seconded Carson.

“NO!" Her face was flush. "Let’s see what Orson says,” she turned to Orson. “Carson’s reading Rand’s screed to greed, Atlas Shrugged, and he says it’s very timely right now. He’s afraid Congress is going to enact some sort of anti dog-eat-dog legislation any day!” she was having difficulty breathing.

“Carson, can I borrow twelve bucks? I want to get a refill on my Macchiato Choke a Lotta Frapaccino.” Jeremy said as he stood.

“Sure Jeremy.” Carson dug a wad of cash from his pocket and handed him the bills.

“So, what do you think, Orson?” she asked.

“Let me explain,” Carson said. He turned and looked at Orson, “Rand suggests that when each individual acts in his own self interest, it is better for everyone. All boats rise. I happen to agree with her.”

“Well, it’s been forty years since I…” Orson began.

“God, I can’t believe you, Carson. Self-interest, indeed. Just the way you say those words-SELF-INTEREST... as if there’s something SELF-EVIDENT about them. Well there’s not! How dare you? Self-interest! What about everybody else?! They can starve?! We should help one another. It's not ALL about money! You should be ashamed.”

“That’s exactly Ayn’s point…” Carson began.

“I have to agree with Lisa,” Jeremy interrupted as he sat back down. “Rand is harsh. If you’re not a monopolist, conglomeratist or a CEO, she doesn’t like you. What about the little guy?”

“She sees potential in everyman. She’s the eternal optimist.” Carson smiled.

“Ahh, that’s where you’re wrong,” Said Orson. “She sees the evil in everyman. She’s the eternal pessimist.”

“Well, folks it’s been fun, but I gotta go.” Carson got up.

“Wait, where you going?” Lisa asked.

“Work,” he shrugged.

“On Sunday?” Said Jeremy.

“Yeah, they asked for volunteers. Pays double-time. Bye.”

"But..." Lisa looked conflicted.

"Gotta go." He turned and left.

“Great job, Orson!” Lisa said after Carson left.

“What’d I do?”

“You made him mad with that "pessimist" comment. He was buying my coffee today, and I hadn’t gotten my refill. Plus, I wanted a muffin.”

“Working on Sunday,” Jeremy muttered. “There’s something’s just not right about that… makes the rest of us look bad. Somebody ought to pass a law about that. Don’t you think people should be made to take time off?" he looked at the others. "Plus, it’ll leave more work for the rest of us.”