Literary Agent Orson: The Jewish Dilemma

“Glenfiddich, neat,” she said as she served him.

“It’s a sin to defile good scotch. How are you, Rosie?”

“Glad the holidays are over, Orson. You?” she wiped the bar as the news blared on the TV behind her.

“Same,” he said as he took a sip. “How’s business?”

“With the economy the way it is, things are a little slow, but...”

“Oy,” said the lady seated at a table a few feet away. “Rosie, please put it on CNN? I don’t know how you tolerate this channel. That’s not real news.” She dug into the bowl in front of her for another handful of peanuts.

“Marlene Greenberg,” Rosie whispered. “Head of the local chapter of the A.C.L.U., muckety-muck in local Democratic politics,” she explained to Orson. “No Marley, it’s gonna stay right there.” Her words bounced off Orson’s right shoulder.

He nodded. “How’s your writing?”

“Non existent right now, Orson. I can’t focus. Maybe when things settle.”

“What are your thoughts on Jewish Palestinian conflict?” he looked toward the TV.

“Tired. They both have legitimate claims, but you and I will not live to see…”

“GOD! Why don’t they just be honest and call this ‘Channel Bush’,” Marlene screamed. The newscaster explained that when pressed, President Elect Obama would only demure on the current Israel-Palestine conflict. “‘One president at a time,’ was all we got,” Shepherd said. “He certainly wasn’t so cagey when questioned about the economy though.”

“GIVE HIM A CHANCE! Marlene shouted at the TV. This isn’t news. It’s pure editorial rubbish. Please, Rosie,” she bleated. “PLEASE. Next door they keep it on CNN,” she leveled a menacing gaze.

Rosie relented. Business was bad enough already. She changed the channel.

“What? No fight? The Rosie I know wouldn’t have given in so easy,” Orson said.

“The exigencies of business, Orson, the exigencies of business.”

“Oy, Oy,” Marlene cried as a Hamas bomb rained down on a small Israeli town. “My cousin lives there,” she said waving her hand toward the TV.

“So you see, small provocations bring disproportionate response. Once again, Israel has used overwhelming force against a defenseless people.” Christiane reported dramatically as she slowly walked backwards, microphone caressed like a lover, down a destroyed Gaza street. “Poor women and children pay the ultimate price for ugly Israeli aggression, and once again your President Bush has shown complete solidarity with this irresponsible use of force,”

“GOD I HATE THAT MAN!” Marlene screamed again at the TV. She reached for another handful of peanuts. “Now this is real news, good news,” she said as she sat back in her comfortable chair.